When You Wish You Could Change People

Have you ever had one of those days? One of those days where, by the time the day is done with, you just wish you could give up all together? Because, as I write this tonight, I'm fighting off the tears. Tears of frustration. Anger. Hurt.

Some days, you may feel like you're out there fighting to change the world and it's completely awesome. But then when you want people to join in and come alongside of you, they just don't appear to care. At all. And on those days, you have to fight your flesh big time.

On those days, I have to remind myself of a few things. I have to remind myself that everyone's journey looks different. Some people may not be remotely passionate about the things that I'm passionate about. And that's okay. I have to remind myself that sometimes people do care about the things that I care about, they just may not know how to show it. And that's okay. I have to remind myself that sometimes people forget, or that they are just so overwhelmed with the things going on with their lives that they just can't reach out. And that's okay.

But most importantly, I have to remind myself that Jesus is in control while I am not. And that is more than okay.

If you grew up with siblings, you can probably relate to the analogy I'm about to share. I remember time where my brother would do something that I didn't like or that I thought was wrong. Then I would run to my mom to tell her, completely sure that she would side with me and scold my deviant little brother. But her response would so often be, "You worry about yourself, and let me worry about your brother."

How absolutely infuriating was that response sometimes? Yet I think that's what Jesus is saying to me. I don't need to worry about other people and whether or not I think they are doing what they ought. I should be running so hard after Jesus and the call He has placed upon my life to serve that I would be fine with it if I was the only person in the world serving Him.

And I'm not the only person serving Him. In fact, I'm not even close. Christ has blessed me with so many wonderful people to serve alongside of, many of whom have been serving Him way longer than I have and who serve Him way more faithfully than I do. Putting that in perspective makes my little pity party look completely ridiculous and arrogant.

So, here I am. Ugly, sinful heart bare for you all to see. It's completely humbling for me to be reminded of those truths mentioned above. And I am so thankful for God's grace that loves me and sustains me through every little pity party and whiny moment. Tonight, I was reminded that I need it just as much as everyone else.

"For it is by GRACE you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, NOT A RESULT OF WORKS, so that no one may boast." -Ephesians 2:8-9

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