Journey of Faith

I hate  making mistakes. Okay, obviously no one likes making them, but I have a special hatred for screwing up. I will lay up at night reliving a comment I made years ago that made someone uncomfortable, as if there is anything I can do about it now. It's pointless, but for whatever reason, my brain can't seem to Let. It. Go. Lately, I have noticed I seem to be extremely anxious for reasons I can't quite pinpoint. I've prayed about it, I've tried to switch my thoughts, but no matter what, my stress level is still at a Britney Spears in 2007 (Google it). It's come to a point where I will be sitting on the couch, completely freaked out trying to figure out what I'm freaked out about. Over the past few weeks, my Bible study has been going through the book of Galatians. In this book, Paul speaks over and over again about the freedoms we have in Christ and how we no longer need to be enslaved to "the law." Suddenly, it all came full circle. Instead ...

A few months ago, I shared how I felt like I was stranded on a desert island. My life felt so dry, as if the joy had been vacuumed out. I acknowledged that the reason for this was placing my hope in people and then being devastated when they continually let me down. It was at that point when I realized I had to reset my priorities and get back to seeking after Jesus as my source of hope and joy. During this season, I learned a few things about God and myself. I learned that God doesn’t work through strong fist and heightened weaponry. God didn’t just pull me off my desert island and overflow my life overnight. However, slowly but surely, He changed my heart and the blessings came after that. We found a church community to join. He gave me a new excitement for His Word that I haven’t experienced in a long time. In showing me His great generosity, He has changed my perspective from seeing my possessions as things that must be guarded carefully to living life with a more open han...

Back in youth group, I had a leader once refer to something called "the scary prayer." The scary prayer was, "God, change my heart." At the time, I didn't appreciate the depths of those words, but now, I understand exactly what she meant. In a time of feeling far from the Lord, I asked Him a few weeks back to change my heart. I knew that there must be something in there that was keeping me from being close to Him. Isn't it funny how we think we know our own hearts and motives, only to be shocked when God reveals what's truly there?  In an answer to that prayer, God showed me what was really preventing me from closeness with Him and it honestly floored me. My problem was more. Literally. My problem was that, without even realizing it, I had gotten to a place where I just needed more. I wanted more clothes, more food, more home decor, more Instagram worthy posts, more everything. I've gotten so caught up in "more" that I haven...

Recently, my husband and I were able to spend some time with a few of our nearest and dearest friends. They're the kind of friends where you get to pick up right where you left off, and honestly, they are a couple of the few people that we have ever "done life" with. The time we got with them was refreshing to our souls, filled with laughter, tears, and so  many sarcastic comments. In our time together, we dove right into the nitty gritty of each other's struggles, triumphs, and heartbreaks. One of the things we talked about was how difficult it is to find people that you feel you can truly be transparent and real with. We also realized how devastating life is without having people like that in your world. It really struck me when I stopped to think about why we let so few people catch glimpses of what's actually going on in our lives and hearts, even though it's a crucial part of spiritual and emotional well-being. I believe that we are so scared to s...

Between my husband and I, our weekends lately have been going at a rate of a mile a minute. And by lately, I mean for about the past 6 months that we have been married. We have been traveling, going to weddings and grad parties, hanging out with friends, you name it. I'm sure your summer looked similar. Anyways, last weekend, we finally  got a chance to slow it down for a minute. We woke up on Sunday morning and started our day off by going to church. And let me tell you, there is just something sacred about communing with the body of Christ. I refuse to hear any argument that believers do not need to be in regular community with others - it is so necessary to a healthy walk (see Hebrews 10:25). After church, we went to brunch (Deagan's - their brunch is a must) and then had the whole rest of the day open. I spent some much needed time catching up on house work; somehow, some way, cleaning is relaxing. Whatever, I've become my mother. Don't judge me. Then, we walked...

If you think that I'm about to tell you how in high school, I had track skills that would make Usain Bolt jealous, you probably haven't spent more than 5.2 seconds with me. Treadmills make me contemplate cutting my legs off with a butter knife and in high school, I was a mediocre (at best) member of the swim team. Physical running is not something I want to discuss now or ever. But running from life? Now that is a top skill set of mine. When things get tough, I'm searching the job market, house market, friend market, you name it. I simply do not naturally possess the propensity to "fight it out." Recently, I heard a sermon about creating an Eternal Perspective when facing difficulties. The pastor spoke on 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, where Paul has the audacity to call our hardships "light momentary afflictions." He is specifically referencing the times that he was beaten, imprisoned, starved, etc. You know, just the usual trials that we all face, right? ...

You guys, I am so dry right now. And I'm not just talking about the cracked skin on my elbows, although that probably deserves a blog post of its own. I'm dry in the kind of way that I feel like like I'm stranded on a desert island all alone and am just too exhausted to get myself back on the mainland. No matter how much I sleep at night, I wake up worn out. At this point, the bags under my eyes are permanent installations, ready for their own names. Some might ask what the cause of the dryness is. I have wonderful family, some amazing friends, and a life filled with beautiful experiences. But what social media doesn't explain is the friend that has really let me down, or the person who left me high and dry, or the difficulties of planting a church where no one there is in your walk of life (I LOVE our church, so don't see this as a knock on them in any way). To make a long story short, I could point my finger all day long at the different reasons for my exh...